Chemotherapy - and it's Fallout
"Anyways I went to my first chemo and we were waiting to see what kind of side affects I’m were going to have. We found out very quickly that I tolerated the chemo extremely well. As far as feeling nauseous and sick, I would feel tired but I was not nauseous I wasn’t throwing up I wasn’t losing weight – which I was kind of hoping would be the case, might have some good effect lose some weight – I never lost the baby weight after Kylie and so that would have been nice. But I didn’t feel super sick, I was tired. And so we ended up with this cycle were I would go to chemo on Wednesday. Thursday was my day off from yard duty, I would go Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. Thursday was my day off. Ah wait, I’m trying to see how this worked – it was a lot of years ago – Anyways I’d work out that I would then have that day off, then I’d go on my day off for chemo and the next day I was tired, so I’d go work on Friday and I’d be out on the yard and I’d get tired and by the time I hit Friday night I was exhausted.
"Then all through Saturday I was exhausted. I remember laying on the couch on those Saturdays – I’d get up in the mornings go to the bathroom and just lay on the couch. And the kids would be up and running around and Ralph would be getting them breakfast and they would all start on their chores and they would be vacuuming and dusting – I could hear all this going on around me and I could not open my eyes it was too much of an effort to open my eyes.
"I could lay there because I was so wiped out and exhausted. Saturday was the down day of the cycle and then by Sunday I was still pretty tired and I remember at this time I was still teaching Beehives and I was still directing the choir and so I remember that sometimes I had to trade off between – I wasn’t teaching every week in Beehives because sometimes they had combined lessons and it always seemed to work out that when they would have combined lessons I wouldn’t be teaching or whatever.
"There were a few times I’d have to have Linda Ann teach for me because it was just – on those six particular Sundays when I was in my down cycle that I just could not get up the energy to teach but the time I was able to teach and then I remember the choir practices I was – okay this was all through the fall and into Christmas time and the choir was going to be singing for Sacrament Meeting at Christmas time – sometimes I had to sit down for rehearsals I was really, really tired. Sometimes I wouldn’t even direct, I’d just listen and say okay this is what you need to do next and this is what you need to do next and lets try this again lets do this and so we just got through it.
"We soon found out there were some patterns that – you know I’d have that down week and then I was pretty good for the next two weeks, so I was able to work all the yard duty, I had my first chemo on September 14thand then that first weekend of General Conference that first weekend in October is when my hair fell out.
"They told me precisely – Okay you count this many days after chemo and this is when your hair falls out. And by golly they were absolutely right. And so on that Saturday morning I’d taken a shower and I would rub my hair and some of the hair was falling out you know it clogged up the shower a little bit. I remember we were actually having to use our shower because Ralph was fixing the shower in the master bedroom so it was the hall shower that I was using because I remember that’s where I was when my hair was falling out. So on Saturday we were watching conference and the kids were just pulling my hair out I didn’t feel a thing, they were just pieces of hair were just falling out.
"So the next morning I went in to take my shower and it clogged up the drain 3 times. Now the Monday night before, for family home evening before I was suppose to lose my hair, I had Ralph and the kids help buzz my hair. It was about an inch long but I had been told that when it starts coming out you can control the hair being all over the household better if it is shorter and then you don’t have these long pieces of hair all over you just have these short pieces of hair all over. So they buzzed my hair, and I was also concerned I didn’t want them to be worried or think it was just freaky that mom didn’t have hair anymore, so we had turned it into this fun thing, and I have to tell you they enjoyed it way like too much. They had a load of fun cutting of mom’s hair, “Oh look at this I’m cutting mom’s hair!” “Guys you’re enjoying this way too much.” But it kind of lightened the mood for it and so when my hair started falling out so they were very mater-of-fact, “Yup hair falling out, chemo is working.”
"So General Conference morning I went in and the drain clogged up 3 times and …. I was bald. So I’m going in to wake up the kids and their eyes were closed and I was saying when you open your eyes I’ll be bald and they looked at me, “Yup you are mom.” So that began my bald stage, I had purchased this neckerchief type denim thing – actually it wasn’t denim – it was this soft cotton that was dark blue this kerchief thing that I wore on my head and I also had gone to the American Cancer Society and gotten a wig and Rosanne Nieto had given me a few hats that she had a few outdoor hats. I found out really quickly that I’m not much of a hat person and never have been never will be. When I was out and about I either my kerchief or my wig and I liked my wig, it worked fine. I’m not thrilled about wearing a wig because it kind of squeezes your head like wearing a bra on your head but I was very thankful to have the wig I was thankful to have the kerchief – most of the time it was the wig when I was out and about.
"A lot of people were complimenting me, “Oh like your cute hair cut.” “Thank you so much, glad you like it.” Never ever saying, “actually it’s a wig”, kind of just let it go thank them for the compliment, “glad you like it”. The hair tone was pretty close to my natural color, a little bit different there was a touch of red in it and I remember one time one of Amy’s soccer coaches saw me at the grocery store, “Oh I love your hair color.” I said, “Thanks so much glad you like it.” I haven’t dyed my hair, I’ve never will dyed my hair but this is just what we were doing.
"There were people who didn’t even know we were going through cancer and there were a lot of people who did. That very first Sunday, when we had fast Sunday, the ward was fasting and praying for me and I knew that there were congregations of my siblings and my extended family and wards that we had lived in that had all gotten the news. There were put out emails to a lot of people and the word had gotten around and my name was on the prayer rolls of about 15 different Temples. That Fast Sunday I will never forget the hugs from people and the “We are here for you what can I do to help” and I knew that it was very sincere. I think we as a ward were all in shock because of the attack of cancer to know what kind of cancer it was to know that it was very, very serious- it was at a stage 3 B when it was diagnosed, that it was scary and that I felt like that there were so many people with love and support, “Can I take the kids? What can I do to help? Can I drive carpool?”
"That afternoon we were having the carpool meeting where we were going to figure it out. I was told by Pam and some other moms that I would not be driving car pool that year for my older kids. I would get Eric and Kylie to school (I would do them) but they would be taking over the high school and middle school so that Amy and Kristy were taken care of for carpool that year. I was so thankful for people – even though I could have done it, but it was just really nice to know that it was something I could turn over to someone else. I know that there were sisters that were glad that there was something that they could do that was helping me and that was a very good thing..
"So we ended up with a schedule where I would have to chemo – the next chemo I had LaRae Draper dropped me off, Ralph doesn’t need to sit here with me, I don’t get sick, I’m perfectly capable of driving myself. LaRae Draper dropped me off for the next one and then after that for the next four I drove myself no problem. It was – gosh – about the 2ndor 3rdchemo that I got a phone call from Pam or Teemaree asked me if they could come over for a minute. I said, “Sure” And a little while later who shows up at my doorstep but Pam Hosking and Teemaree Capener and Lanette Hopkins from the Concord Second Ward and they had a quilt for me – my cancer quilt – this beautiful quilt – full of hearts and full of those bright blue and yellow happy cheerful material – there are I think 64 hearts on this quilt that are white, and on them were messages that were stitched into this quilt.
"Messages of love from my family, from teachers at Mountain View, from ward friends, from my lunch bunch ladies, from my walking friend Robbie Smidebush, people that were out of the ward that were my friends, just the most amazing quilt ever! I cried! And then they left and then for the next 3 days I cried when I read those beautiful messages of encouragement and love and support. It became my chemo quilt, because when I’m having chemo sometimes I would get cold and they bring me these warm blankets – I didn’t need a warm blanket because I had my chemo quilt. I just - I felt like it was an outpouring of love from all these sisters to me, it was beautiful. When I went to chemo I would load up my little blue cooler with a sandwich, a couple of water bottles, some chocolate, I would take Sudoku puzzles, I would take a book to read, things to keep my hands busy, things I needed to work on. The thing that was great about having the port put in is that – and the port works fabulously well - the first time they put the needle in the port it was like AHHHHH! So I talked to a few nurses and they said that they have this cream you can put on it that will numb it, that when you get the shot you don’t feel it – and oh my gosh – that cream was like fabulous!
"It was expensive but worth EVERY penny! Later on when I was doing maintenance ________ I would put that cream on my stomach where they were doing the (Zoaic ?)shot and that really worked because (Zoaic) was this big [cap sin something ] to make sure I was in menopause and it was kind of a big needle in fact they call it the gun. They just don’t like giving the shot but it is something I had to have, they were very kind about it. I put the cream on there and they could tell exactly where it was and that way I wasn’t feeling the shot either – so, Love that cream!
"Some of the side effects I noticed with the chemo, my taste buds were funny and food tasted funny and water tasted kind of metallic and I didn’t like the taste of milk and food tasted horrible. I was one who was always one who liked food and I liked baking and cooking that was hard for me to handle. I could handle being bald but I had a really hard time.
"It was hard for me to continue wanting to cook when food was not fun anymore and now I wasn’t loosing weight and needed to eat but yuck. I remember one time just crying, “I’m tired of food tasting horrible!” That was not my favorite Thanksgiving or Christmas, food just didn’t taste very good and my taste buds were just all out of whack. It was one of the chemo’s that was doing it. One of those things, you just had to go through it. I found that cold cranberry juice I could tolerate drinking and so I went through a lot of cranberry juice. But since then I have a very difficult time drinking it because it reminds me of that time period. Not that it was horrible it just ehhh I’d rather not drink that right now. So I drank a lot of cranberry juice because I could tolerate that. They give you a lot of guidelines, you need to be eating you need to drink to flush that chemo out of your system. I was trying really hard to follow all the instructions they were giving me.
"Then all through Saturday I was exhausted. I remember laying on the couch on those Saturdays – I’d get up in the mornings go to the bathroom and just lay on the couch. And the kids would be up and running around and Ralph would be getting them breakfast and they would all start on their chores and they would be vacuuming and dusting – I could hear all this going on around me and I could not open my eyes it was too much of an effort to open my eyes.
"I could lay there because I was so wiped out and exhausted. Saturday was the down day of the cycle and then by Sunday I was still pretty tired and I remember at this time I was still teaching Beehives and I was still directing the choir and so I remember that sometimes I had to trade off between – I wasn’t teaching every week in Beehives because sometimes they had combined lessons and it always seemed to work out that when they would have combined lessons I wouldn’t be teaching or whatever.
"There were a few times I’d have to have Linda Ann teach for me because it was just – on those six particular Sundays when I was in my down cycle that I just could not get up the energy to teach but the time I was able to teach and then I remember the choir practices I was – okay this was all through the fall and into Christmas time and the choir was going to be singing for Sacrament Meeting at Christmas time – sometimes I had to sit down for rehearsals I was really, really tired. Sometimes I wouldn’t even direct, I’d just listen and say okay this is what you need to do next and this is what you need to do next and lets try this again lets do this and so we just got through it.
"We soon found out there were some patterns that – you know I’d have that down week and then I was pretty good for the next two weeks, so I was able to work all the yard duty, I had my first chemo on September 14thand then that first weekend of General Conference that first weekend in October is when my hair fell out.
"They told me precisely – Okay you count this many days after chemo and this is when your hair falls out. And by golly they were absolutely right. And so on that Saturday morning I’d taken a shower and I would rub my hair and some of the hair was falling out you know it clogged up the shower a little bit. I remember we were actually having to use our shower because Ralph was fixing the shower in the master bedroom so it was the hall shower that I was using because I remember that’s where I was when my hair was falling out. So on Saturday we were watching conference and the kids were just pulling my hair out I didn’t feel a thing, they were just pieces of hair were just falling out.
"So the next morning I went in to take my shower and it clogged up the drain 3 times. Now the Monday night before, for family home evening before I was suppose to lose my hair, I had Ralph and the kids help buzz my hair. It was about an inch long but I had been told that when it starts coming out you can control the hair being all over the household better if it is shorter and then you don’t have these long pieces of hair all over you just have these short pieces of hair all over. So they buzzed my hair, and I was also concerned I didn’t want them to be worried or think it was just freaky that mom didn’t have hair anymore, so we had turned it into this fun thing, and I have to tell you they enjoyed it way like too much. They had a load of fun cutting of mom’s hair, “Oh look at this I’m cutting mom’s hair!” “Guys you’re enjoying this way too much.” But it kind of lightened the mood for it and so when my hair started falling out so they were very mater-of-fact, “Yup hair falling out, chemo is working.”
"So General Conference morning I went in and the drain clogged up 3 times and …. I was bald. So I’m going in to wake up the kids and their eyes were closed and I was saying when you open your eyes I’ll be bald and they looked at me, “Yup you are mom.” So that began my bald stage, I had purchased this neckerchief type denim thing – actually it wasn’t denim – it was this soft cotton that was dark blue this kerchief thing that I wore on my head and I also had gone to the American Cancer Society and gotten a wig and Rosanne Nieto had given me a few hats that she had a few outdoor hats. I found out really quickly that I’m not much of a hat person and never have been never will be. When I was out and about I either my kerchief or my wig and I liked my wig, it worked fine. I’m not thrilled about wearing a wig because it kind of squeezes your head like wearing a bra on your head but I was very thankful to have the wig I was thankful to have the kerchief – most of the time it was the wig when I was out and about.
"A lot of people were complimenting me, “Oh like your cute hair cut.” “Thank you so much, glad you like it.” Never ever saying, “actually it’s a wig”, kind of just let it go thank them for the compliment, “glad you like it”. The hair tone was pretty close to my natural color, a little bit different there was a touch of red in it and I remember one time one of Amy’s soccer coaches saw me at the grocery store, “Oh I love your hair color.” I said, “Thanks so much glad you like it.” I haven’t dyed my hair, I’ve never will dyed my hair but this is just what we were doing.
"There were people who didn’t even know we were going through cancer and there were a lot of people who did. That very first Sunday, when we had fast Sunday, the ward was fasting and praying for me and I knew that there were congregations of my siblings and my extended family and wards that we had lived in that had all gotten the news. There were put out emails to a lot of people and the word had gotten around and my name was on the prayer rolls of about 15 different Temples. That Fast Sunday I will never forget the hugs from people and the “We are here for you what can I do to help” and I knew that it was very sincere. I think we as a ward were all in shock because of the attack of cancer to know what kind of cancer it was to know that it was very, very serious- it was at a stage 3 B when it was diagnosed, that it was scary and that I felt like that there were so many people with love and support, “Can I take the kids? What can I do to help? Can I drive carpool?”
"That afternoon we were having the carpool meeting where we were going to figure it out. I was told by Pam and some other moms that I would not be driving car pool that year for my older kids. I would get Eric and Kylie to school (I would do them) but they would be taking over the high school and middle school so that Amy and Kristy were taken care of for carpool that year. I was so thankful for people – even though I could have done it, but it was just really nice to know that it was something I could turn over to someone else. I know that there were sisters that were glad that there was something that they could do that was helping me and that was a very good thing..
"So we ended up with a schedule where I would have to chemo – the next chemo I had LaRae Draper dropped me off, Ralph doesn’t need to sit here with me, I don’t get sick, I’m perfectly capable of driving myself. LaRae Draper dropped me off for the next one and then after that for the next four I drove myself no problem. It was – gosh – about the 2ndor 3rdchemo that I got a phone call from Pam or Teemaree asked me if they could come over for a minute. I said, “Sure” And a little while later who shows up at my doorstep but Pam Hosking and Teemaree Capener and Lanette Hopkins from the Concord Second Ward and they had a quilt for me – my cancer quilt – this beautiful quilt – full of hearts and full of those bright blue and yellow happy cheerful material – there are I think 64 hearts on this quilt that are white, and on them were messages that were stitched into this quilt.
"Messages of love from my family, from teachers at Mountain View, from ward friends, from my lunch bunch ladies, from my walking friend Robbie Smidebush, people that were out of the ward that were my friends, just the most amazing quilt ever! I cried! And then they left and then for the next 3 days I cried when I read those beautiful messages of encouragement and love and support. It became my chemo quilt, because when I’m having chemo sometimes I would get cold and they bring me these warm blankets – I didn’t need a warm blanket because I had my chemo quilt. I just - I felt like it was an outpouring of love from all these sisters to me, it was beautiful. When I went to chemo I would load up my little blue cooler with a sandwich, a couple of water bottles, some chocolate, I would take Sudoku puzzles, I would take a book to read, things to keep my hands busy, things I needed to work on. The thing that was great about having the port put in is that – and the port works fabulously well - the first time they put the needle in the port it was like AHHHHH! So I talked to a few nurses and they said that they have this cream you can put on it that will numb it, that when you get the shot you don’t feel it – and oh my gosh – that cream was like fabulous!
"It was expensive but worth EVERY penny! Later on when I was doing maintenance ________ I would put that cream on my stomach where they were doing the (Zoaic ?)shot and that really worked because (Zoaic) was this big [cap sin something ] to make sure I was in menopause and it was kind of a big needle in fact they call it the gun. They just don’t like giving the shot but it is something I had to have, they were very kind about it. I put the cream on there and they could tell exactly where it was and that way I wasn’t feeling the shot either – so, Love that cream!
"Some of the side effects I noticed with the chemo, my taste buds were funny and food tasted funny and water tasted kind of metallic and I didn’t like the taste of milk and food tasted horrible. I was one who was always one who liked food and I liked baking and cooking that was hard for me to handle. I could handle being bald but I had a really hard time.
"It was hard for me to continue wanting to cook when food was not fun anymore and now I wasn’t loosing weight and needed to eat but yuck. I remember one time just crying, “I’m tired of food tasting horrible!” That was not my favorite Thanksgiving or Christmas, food just didn’t taste very good and my taste buds were just all out of whack. It was one of the chemo’s that was doing it. One of those things, you just had to go through it. I found that cold cranberry juice I could tolerate drinking and so I went through a lot of cranberry juice. But since then I have a very difficult time drinking it because it reminds me of that time period. Not that it was horrible it just ehhh I’d rather not drink that right now. So I drank a lot of cranberry juice because I could tolerate that. They give you a lot of guidelines, you need to be eating you need to drink to flush that chemo out of your system. I was trying really hard to follow all the instructions they were giving me.
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