I Am Mindful of you in the little things and in the big things..
“I Am Mindful”
Nephi states that he was [1]“highly favored of the Lord” and had [2]“seen many afflictions” and knew [3]“the goodness and mysteries of God”. A Paradox?
It is in the fiction that we hear they lived happily ever after, but some people try to apply it to their real-life when they ask why bad things happen when they are keeping the commandments and going to church. It’s going to [4]rain on the wicked as well as the righteous in this life. Bad things happen – to everybody.
Mormon and Moroni were doing everything possible to [5]strengthen their armies and fight for their people while keeping [6]strong testimonies of Jesus Christ and yet [7]Mormon dies in battle, and [8]Moroni lives alone as a fugitive for 20 years. Despite this grim life they lived with the [9]grace of God and [10]“was visited of the Lord”. Sometimes there is no happily-ever-after unless of course, you know about the [11]kingdoms of glory after the resurrection. That state is harder to see in this mortality.
Lisa Lambert is a good friend of mine who is battling one of the most aggressive types of breast cancer there is. She is cheerful and has a strong testimony of Jesus Christ. She is only battling for time, time to raise her children to become independent with testimonies of Jesus Christ. Her youngest was 5 years old when she was diagnosed and through the suffering, pain and many treatments she has remained optimistic cheerful and upbeat. She shared a story with us in Sacrament Meeting that exemplifies how you can see many afflictions, be highly favored of the Lord and know the goodness of God. Here is a letter used with her permission sent to her children away on missions and at school:
February 5, 2014
Dear [her children]:
It has been an interesting few days. Two Sundays ago I started rehearsing a song with the YW for performance in March. I practice with them between SS and YW for about 10 minutes. Then last Saturday I discovered that the piano in the YW room was completely unusable. It is dead. Not one key plays. It worked last Sunday, but not now. I am now worried about how I will rehearse on Sunday with the girls. I found my pitch pipe, thinking that I can just do it a cappella. All-day Saturday as we are [doing activities] I continued to think about how I could do this.
On Sunday morning I continued to think about my rehearsal with the girls. I thought about getting [someone] to bring their keyboards in, but that is a lot of work for 10 minutes of rehearsal. And then the thought crossed my mind. Years ago the church made available small tabletop keyboards for a very reasonable price to help train a new generation of piano players for the church. They are about 4 octaves. I then began thinking about who might have one in the ward that we could borrow it. And then another distinct impression came; look in the library. Wow, where did that thought come from? I made a few phone calls to try and talk to a ward librarian. [The Libriarian] said there used to be one but she did not know if there was still one there.
I arrived at the church and went to the library. As I entered the library I let my eyes wander around the room. And there it was, on the very top of the upper cupboard in the right corner, a keyboard. I was totally blown away, and completely thankful. As I contemplated what had happened, the words came to my mind, “I am mindful of you in the small things, and I am mindful of you in the big things”. During testimony meeting, I was able to share my experience.
Now we move to Monday. Had my blood drawn on Monday morning, waiting to hear the results from Dr. Liu. Tuesday morning at 6:00 am I rolled out of bed and checked to see if there was a message from Dr. Liu. There was. I was crushed to see that my tumor marker went up to 113. That is 30 points from 3 weeks ago. AARRGGHH!!!!!!! In the last 9 weeks, the tumor marker has gone up 55 points!!! I cried I was angry. I cried some more, but I had to get ready for work because it was Kindergarten registration and I was running the office. And then the words came to me again; “I am mindful of you in the small things, and I am mindful of you in the big things.” Wow!!! My Heavenly Father is very well aware of what is happening and He is leading me through this. I was blown away.
How thankful I was for work on this day. I was running the office while [Secretary] and [office assistant] were in the MU registering the new little ones for kindergarten in the fall. There were a ton of phone calls; some in connection with kindergarten. There were people very nervous about their children starting school and I felt I was very helpful in calming them down and getting the answers to their questions. I applied several bandages, helped control and stop a very impressive bloody nose, took many temperatures, gave the evil crud eye to a few students who were making very poor choices, made a schedule for teachers to sign up for my 10 minute Olympics presentation on Friday, got in touch with a parent (boy at the school was bit by a dog walking in front of the school. 4 puncture markers and without the information from the dog owner about shots, the kid was going to have to start rabies shots. Dog owner called in and I was able to finally track down the parent and get them the information. Felt like a hero on that one), and basically saved the day. I was so thankful to be busy and useful and around others instead of sitting at home freaking out. By the time I got home from work, I was in a much better frame of mind.
Another interesting thing I have noticed. During the last 9 weeks, I have been on this medication, our prayers have been “We pray that this medication will be very successful in controlling this cancer, but if not, let us know quickly so we can move on to something else. I double-checked with dad and [sister] and we do not remember that second phrase “but if not, let us know quickly so we can move on to something else” being used at any other time. Just this time, with this particular medicine. Interesting. I think we have found out very quickly that this particular medication is not effective. I feel so strongly the hand of the Lord through these last few days.
I find that I get mad at cancer sometimes. I don’t like it and I wish it would just go away. But I have learned so much these last 8 ½ years. With the challenges have come many blessings for our family and I am grateful.
I am thankful to be done with this medication because I do not want the side effects on my hands and feet. Who knows what other side effects are in my future. I have a PET scan on Feb 12 and a meeting with Dr. Liu on Feb 14. We shall see what she recommends next.
Grandma [name] has been slowing down. She is more confused and having great difficulty breathing. They have started Hospice care to try and keep her comfortable. Whenever we get a phone call at an extreme time I expect to hear that she has moved on.
My parents continue to move along at a slow pace. I enjoy speaking with them each week. I am grateful they are still around.
Have a great week. We love each of you so very much. We pray for your safety, success, happiness and good health several times each day. I hope you feel of our love. I hope you are happy!!!
Be good, and know that all is well at home.
This seeming paradox of afflictions and knowing the goodness of the Lord is actually a great reassurance to those who understand the blessings in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Tornado, earthquakes, military actions, disease, and mostly the consequences of other people’s actions are going to affect every one of us in some manner or another. Isn’t it so much nicer to be living with the covenants of hope in Doctrine and Covenants 90:24 “that things shall work together for your good” and that “afflictions [will be] for thy gain” spoken of by Lehi to his son Jacob? Doctrine and Covenants 122:6-8 gives a checklist of terrible things that are actually experience “for thy good”. And then a promise is given in verse 9 that “God shall be with you forever and ever”.
I am a witness that our Heavenly Father knows us individually and will [12]“show…..the tender mercies of the Lord” to us as we faithfully keep his commandments and do our best. It is hard to pinpoint but very real blessings come when we have a missionary out. We find the “wind is at our backs”. Bad things like accidents, disease, and death happen, but there is a peaceful mitigating ‘force’ that helps us over the bumps of life. I love having a missionary out in the field. I love our Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus Christ and the multitude of Tender Mercies he has shown to our family.
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